Saturday, January 30, 2010
My Story
I guess I should tell you how I came to where I am today. My mother was obsessed with what she looked like. She would work out three times a day when we were kids. That definately made me have a poor body image. At fourteen a started to binge and purge even though I was about 115 lbs and no where near fat. It didn't last long and was more a stage in my life to me. I was able to get over and move on rather easily. I got married and had my daughter a few years later. I tried everything to lose the weight but NOTHING worked, then a year and a half later I got pregnant with my son. I was still carrying an extra 20 lbs from my daughter so after I had my son I was determined to lose the weight. I started in January of 2008 and was losing 1 to 2 lbs a weeks with diet and excercise. After I lost about 25 lbs of the 50 lbs I needed to lose I went into panic mode. It started with just throwing up things that I knew that I shouldn't over eaten but then quickly turned into a full on binge and purge cycle. At my worst I could easily eat 5000 calories during a binge. I would do it at night when my husband and kids were sleeping. My mom started to notice a difference in me and she had known about my bulimia as a teenager so one day she called an asked me flat out. I'm very honest so I said yes and then she gave me an choice. I needed to tell my husband or she would and she gave me two weeks. I told my husband the next day and then slowly my dad and siblings found out. I haven't had any formal treatment. It is a struggle everyday and I still have relapses every once in a while. I just take things day by day. it is not a quick fix or the easy way out for weight loss. The binge/purge cycles can actually make you gain weight. Plus I would rather have a few extra lbs and not have to deal with this problem but that just can't happen now. If you feel like you may turn to an eating disorder then seek help. It really is all about prevention because once you're in it you can never get out. I will forever have an eating disorder and that is my truth.
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Wow, thank you for being so honest. While I am not bulemic I do have very poor body image and as the mother of twin girls I worry what I pass on to them without even realising it, thank you
ReplyDeleteJean
No problem,I realize that the easiest way to get over stuff is to be honest with yourself...I thought that it would be a good idea to put my story on here so that people will understand the struggle
ReplyDeleteIt takes a lot to be this honest, honey. Sometimes, writing it down will make it easier to deal with. I hope it will for you.
ReplyDeletevery inspirational. : )
ReplyDeleteYour honesty is refreshing. I mainly teeter on Anorexia train. Other than the here and there (ie: olive garden)good meal I roughly only eat about 500 calories a day. Its a terrible way to live and my body feels like its eating itself on a daily basis. Its horrible but I refuse to admit it to anyone other than myself and strangers who really have no stake in the matter.
ReplyDeleteI was terrified to tell my husband and then even more freaked out when my dad found out but now its just part of life. I have bad days and I have good ones. Saying it out loud and owning it I truely think is the first step. Please if you are suffering reach out to someone, anyone!!!!
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